


Familiar

by Rinkafic



Series: Misc Stargate [18]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-13
Updated: 2013-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-29 04:37:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/682850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkafic/pseuds/Rinkafic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AMTDI</p><p>This one got me in trouble.  </p><p>There is no warning tag for abuse of a Beanie Baby</p>
            </blockquote>





	Familiar

“You will need a familiar in order to participate in the ceremony, Colonel Mitchell.” The Wise Woman of the Drunwiblie Clan intoned in a deep tone that dared Cam to argue.

“A familiar?” Cam asked, honestly not understanding. “You mean like a black cat or a frog or an owl or something?”

She sighed and did an old Wise Woman’s version of an eye roll at him. “A token representation will be adequate.

A token representation? For a fertility ceremony? Cam was convinced these people were making up things for him to do just to amuse themselves. What in the hell could he possibly use as a representation of a familiar? He let the straps of his pack slide down his arms and knelt to rummage through it. Underwear, socks, first aid kit, spare t-shirt, flashlight, his lucky monkey. His Lucky Monkey. No! Not the monkey!

He was about to shove his good luck charm back into the pack when the old woman came up behind his and said, “That will suit perfectly, come along, Colonel Mitchell.” She snatched Lucky Monkey out of his hand and walked away.

But, it was his Lucky Monkey. The little beanie baby had survived Antarctica, retrieved from the wreck of his F-302 by one of the rescue workers and sent with his gear to the hospital, Lucky Monkey even had a little scar where someone had sewn him up while Cam was recovering from the crash in the hospital.

He stomped along after the old woman, who smelled like a wacky mix of marijuana and pee. She led him to the temple doors. He had been assured that this was the last thing he would need to do to prove the Tau’ri willingness to be allies with these people. If he went through their fertility ceremony, and helped them to bless the coming year, then his team would be let go. At the moment, they were tied up in a cave somewhere, waiting for Cam to finish jumping through hoops.

Cam idly wondered how many times O’Neill had to drop his trousers and give for the cause during his time as team leader. The old woman led him through the temple to a small table by a window overlooking the grain fields.

“Recite the words you were taught,” she instructed.

Fumbling over the words, he got the short prayer out. He wondered if it counted as a prayer if he didn’t believe in the god or goddess he was supposedly honoring?

“The familiar will carry your offering for you to the goddess.” She held the little monkey out, gesturing towards his crotch. He sighed and snagged his good luck charm out of her grubby fingers.

“Will I get him back?”

“You would want it back after?” She pulled a face and looked a little horrified.

“It’s my Lucky Monkey!”

“I suppose you could have it back at the conclusion of the harvest festival,” she conceded. “Are you certain? It will be… soiled.”

“He’ll go for a ride in the washing machine and be good as new. Now, are you going to stand here and watch?”

She backed away, looking at him oddly. “Leave the offering on the alter there beneath the window, say the second prayer and then light the candle to guide the familiar on the path to the goddess.” She turned away and left him there.

Cam looked down at Lucky Monkey. “I guess your new name is Unlucky Monkey. Sorry about this, pal. You’ve gotta take one for the team.”

Shaking his head ruefully over the things he was called upon to do sometimes, Cam undid the fly of his BDUs.

 

The End


End file.
